Personalised developmental manuscript critique services
Meet your editor
Hi, I’m Ellen — editor, writer, and former lawyer with a sharp eye for detail and a deep love of storytelling. After several years in the legal world, I now help authors shape their manuscripts into powerful, polished narratives that resonate with their readers. Whether you’re writing fiction or memoir, I bring editorial insight, structural strategy, and honest feedback to help you craft a story that is purposeful and unforgettable.
Get to know me! Fun facts about me:
I'm an ex, recovering lawyer (don't hold it against me, please!) Specifically, I worked in family, criminal and commercial real estate law in an international law firm.
Originally born in Norwich (outside Cambridge) in the UK, I emigrated to Western Australia when I was 11. I currently live between Bali and Australia and speak Bahasa Indonesia.
I have built a community of international writers and readers here in Bali.
I am a dog Mum to a golden Moodle (Maltese poodle) called Effie!
I'm a qualified 500-hour yoga teacher.
I could eat margarita pizza every day.
In addition to my personal writing projects and business, I read over sixty fiction novels in 2024 as research for my clients.
Developmental Critique Services
The Cover-to-Cover
A full-scale, honest critique of your entire manuscript from the first line to the final page. You will receive a detailed 5-page report that covers story structure, plot development, pacing, tone, character arcs, voice, narrative flow, and more, along with practical suggestions to tighten, refine, and elevate your draft. If something’s unclear, underdeveloped, or inconsistent, I’ll flag it, alongside the parts that are truly shining.
This is perfect for:
✔️ Writers preparing to revise their first (or third) draft
✔️ Authors planning to query agents, self-publish, or submit to publishers
✔️ Anyone seeking a fresh, objective perspective on their project
Whether your goal is clarity, cohesion, or emotional impact, this critique gives you the big-picture tools to take your manuscript to the next level, without losing your voice in the process.
The Chapter Checkup
This service offers a developmental critique of your opening chapters (typically the first 10,000–30,000 words), designed to give you a professional gut-check before finishing your draft. Whether you’re just getting started or halfway through, a Chapter Checkup flags issues that could derail your manuscript down the line, while there's still time to course-correct. Unlike the full Cover-to-Cover critique, which evaluates a complete draft, this checkup is tailored to diagnose early.
This is perfect for:
✔️ Writers with a work-in-progress or incomplete manuscript
✔️ Authors submitting to mentorships, competitions, or agents with sample chapters
✔️ Anyone wanting reassurance (or redirection) before powering through the rest of the book
You'll receive clear, constructive notes on what’s working, what’s not, and how to sharpen your story’s foundation so the rest unfolds with purpose and momentum.
The Pitch Perfector
The Pitch Perfecter is for writers ready to submit their completed manuscript to agents and publishers, who want their query materials to shine. You will receive line-level edits and big-picture feedback on your query letter and synopsis, ensuring both are clear, compelling, and tailored to your genre and market. I’ll help you highlight your hook, streamline your summary, and showcase your voice, without overwhelming or underselling the story, to turn your pitch into a full request.
This is perfect for:
✔️ Writers preparing to query literary agents or pitch to publishers
✔️ Writers who struggle to condense their story into a strong, marketable pitch
✔️ Writers who want to sharpen a query letter that isn’t getting bites from agents
You only get one shot to make a first impression. This service helps you make it count.
Note: Existing Cover-to-Cover and Chapter Checkup clients receive a 10% discount on The Pitch Perfector Service!
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I’ll evaluate your story’s major beats—beginning, midpoint, climax, and resolution—to ensure each turning point lands with purpose. I’ll flag structural issues like a slow opening, saggy middle, or abrupt ending, and offer suggestions to tighten cause-and-effect, build momentum, and keep the reader engaged throughout.
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I’ll examine your characters’ goals, motivations, and arcs to make sure they feel like real people, not just vehicles for the plot. I’ll flag one-dimensional characters, inconsistent behaviour, or unclear desires, and help strengthen character agency and emotional depth. I’ll also identify clichés, stereotypes, or “stock” characters and suggest ways to subvert them or add nuance so your cast stands out from the crowd.
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I’ll give feedback on how your voice comes across on the page, whether it’s punchy, lyrical, dry, or heartfelt. Tone should match your genre and audience. I’ll flag inconsistencies and help sharpen your narrative identity. I’ll also highlight clunky phrasing, awkward transitions, overused words, and rhythm issues. This isn’t copyediting, but I’ll suggest where the prose can be tightened, elevated, or simplified—without losing your voice.
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Whether your story is set in a faraway fantasy world or a small-town café, I’ll evaluate how well your setting is woven into the story, and if it supports the plot and mood.
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I’ll consider how your manuscript aligns with the norms of your genre—whether it’s mystery, romance, fantasy, or contemporary—and where it may need tweaking to satisfy readers, agents, or publishers without compromising originality.
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I’ll check for timeline mix-ups, character behavior that contradicts earlier actions, unresolved subplots, and plot points that disappear or don’t add up. I’ll also look at whether your story’s internal logic and “rules” (especially in fantasy, sci-fi, or thrillers) are consistent and believable. Even small inconsistencies can break reader immersion—this ensures your world feels solid and your characters stay in character.
What can I expect in The Cover-to-Cover and The Chapter Checkup feedback?
Let’s grab coffee
Sharing your writing is deeply personal, and trusting someone new with your work isn’t always easy. That’s why every service includes a free 30-minute virtual coffee (or matcha, tea, or beverage of your choice). Before I dive into your pages, we’ll chat about your goals—whether you’re aiming for traditional or indie/self-publishing, your writing journey so far, and anything else you'd like me to know. It’s your space to feel seen, heard, and comfortable before I get stuck into your project.
During our coffee, we will also discuss a timeline that works for you in terms of securing your spot in my calendar, your preferred Submission Date and the date you can expect to receive your feedback!
Why should I invest in a developmental critique?
Think of it like this: when you’ve been deep in your own manuscript for weeks, months, or even years, it’s easy to lose perspective, like re-reading a sentence over and over and still missing the typo. A developmental critique gives you the clarity you can’t get on your own. I step in with a fresh, objective eye to spot what’s strong, what needs reworking, and how to bring your story closer to its full potential.
Good stories aren’t born perfect; they’re shaped through thoughtful revision. A critique isn’t about pointing out flaws for the sake of it; it’s about helping you understand what’s really on the page (versus what’s in your head) and how to move forward with purpose.
Investing in a critique means you’re treating your writing with the respect it deserves. It can save you from frustrating rewrites, help you revise with confidence, and get your story closer to submission or publication-ready, without losing your voice along the way.
It’s not about perfection. It’s about progress and building a story worth telling, and worth finishing.
Don’t be scared of the word ‘critique’…
A developmental critique is a supportive, constructive process that focuses on the big picture of your story — the plot, pacing, character development, structure, worldbuilding, tension, and emotional payoff.
It's not about nitpicking grammar or line edits. It's about helping you shape your story into the strongest version it can be.
The word critique can sound intimidating, as though someone’s going to tear your work apart that you’ve poured your heart into, or tell you it’s not good enough. But that’s not what this is.
Invest in your story to invest in your career
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Invest in your story to invest in your career 〰️
Still have questions?
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If you’ve ever read your own writing so many times that you can’t see the obvious typo — imagine that, but with plot holes, pacing issues, or character motivation. That’s where a developmental editor comes in. Whether your manuscript is finished or still in progress, getting an outside perspective can help you see what’s really on the page (not just what’s in your head). If you’re feeling stuck, unsure, or too close to the work to know what’s working, a developmental critique can give you clarity, direction, and momentum.
Each author is different, so there is no ‘one size fits all’ for when is the best time to seek out a developmental edit. I’d be more than happy to chat through any of your concerns.
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NO! Every author has to start somewhere, which is why getting an independent perspective (someone other than a friend or relative) on your project is so helpful. I’m here to help guide you to write the best story you possibly can, regardless of the stage you’re at in your writing journey.
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It helps to know where you are in the process and what kind of feedback you actually need. Here's a quick breakdown:
Developmental Editing (what I do): Big-picture feedback on story structure, character arcs, pacing, tone, voice, and tension. This is about shaping the story itself. Also known as a Manuscript Assessment.
Line Editing: Focuses on sentence flow, tone, clarity, and style — the how of your writing.
Copyediting: Checks grammar, punctuation, consistency, and accuracy once the story is solid.
Proofreading: Final cleanup for typos and formatting before publishing.
Why Start with Developmental Editing?
Because there’s no point fixing commas if your plot doesn’t work.
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Absolutely! My inbox is open to unlimited questions for 30 days after your Feedback Date (the date you receive my critique). I’m here to guide you!
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While beta readers and writing groups can offer helpful impressions, they often focus on how the story feels as a reader — not how to structurally improve it. My role as a developmental editor is to go deeper. I bring a professional, big-picture lens to your work, looking at story structure, pacing, character arcs, voice, and overall clarity. You’re not just getting opinions — you’re getting strategic, actionable feedback tailored to your goals. Think of it as the difference between “This part was slow” and “Here’s why the tension drops in Chapter 3 and how you might fix it.”
Supporting yourself financially whilst you pour your heart and soul into a manuscript is TOUGH! I’ve been there, and am willing to discuss a payment plan and/or a revised fee structure that provides you some financial comfort! Please get in touch if still not sure, and we can figure this out together!
